29.06.2007

29.06.2007, I woke up feeling something not right... If anyone happened to notice it, the sky was brighter in the direction towards South East Asia. Yes, the is the same kind of sky, the kind that certain people experienced 26 years ago. A pressured kid is borned... May the force be with you...

Perhaps I did not start my blog correctly, for the first paragraph, though important, has nothing to do with the remaining content in this blog. But since the title is just a date, I guess it is fine. The first half of this day appeared to be rather routine-like, but things were a bit different in the second half...

It started at 6.00 p.m. An event in which several coursemates met one another after a long time. A reunion? That could be. But there was more. It was accompanied by speeches...

... music and songs...

... as well as a 15-second opportunity to shake hand with several important persons in front of a hall. But the most rewarding session could be the chance for a reunion photo...

Yes, it was the convocation, an event which took place in University of Technology Hamburg with the participation of around 200 students... Graduation attire? Sorry, but this is a convocation in Germany, and German universities do not necessary need to have culture like that in the english speaking countries.

After several years of struggling, students were finally entitled to own this: A 512MB USB stick engraved with university logo...

Don't get me wrong, but that stick was of course accompanied by a paper to be framed and hanged on the wall...

Alles Gute, meine Kommilitonen!

To My... (#2)

To my dad:

Dad, you have always been someone whom I looked up to since I was just a kid, someone who has given me the greatest influence in my life. As a kid, I have never doubted what you have said, what you have done, for you were so confident and matured in your saying, just like a hero to me. I grew up. I gradually noticed and experienced new things. Till a point of time when I suddenly realized that we are just normal humans, and we could have different opinions. At that time, I was afraid, I was worried, for it was just like giving up a crouch that I held so tightly in my life, to walk on my own, although I still felt that I need your care, your guidance. I was lost, lost in a mist to try to distinguish the truths and the lies, the good and the bad, by my own. We started to discuss -- yes, I used this term "discuss", although sometimes you may think that I like to argue about your statements, but please believe me, dad, we were just "discussing". I was just trying to learn about your perspective. Indeed, your statements would normally receive a very high ranking in my mind. But forgive me, dad, I still need to form my own perspective, a perspective that could be justified by my own findings and believes, for you also hope that I can stand on my own. Of course, it is a perspective which could be influenced by yours, and sometimes, greatly...

I miss you, dad. Everything just seems like yesterday. I am glad that I did return home the other day. My mind can still draw the vivid smile on your face while you hugged Zhezhe, after he gained the courage to cruise his first steps towards your arms on his own. Yes, dad, Zhezhe can walk on his own now. I also need this courage, to walk on my own. Dad, I am half way through now, and I assure you I will make it...

I know why you decided to take up that therapy. Don't worry, dad, I have found a good girl, a girl whom I can really love, whom I can really trust on. Although you could not attend the event later, I know for sure, your spirit will always be with us, for it is living inside our hearts, always...

Sis has informed me about the last words you said. Yes, dad, I will always uphold it... You may sometimes think that you did not make good investments. But let me assure you, dad, you have made an excellent decision. It is not a property, nor a share in the stock, for it is alive, it is a living investment. And I promise you, dad, I will be this living investment, I will live this investment, I will...

Written in memory of a person, who made me the person I am now...

To My...

To my love:

My dear, I don't know what has made us together, I don't know how this feeling has started, I really don't know. Until a day when I faced myself sincerely, I just realized that you have already existed inside my heart... It is definitely not something out of a sudden, for we have not met each other since a long time, and even until now, we still have not met each other. It seems virtual, but those little things, yeah, those tiny little things between us, which you and I may not have noticed, give me a great sense of reality, a reality that I can believe in.. The timing may not be perfect, but I know from the very depth of my heart, if I let you pass by me, I will never forgive myself. A girl who could share my ups and downs, my happiness and sadness, a girl who could understand what I am thinking, a girl who would stand by me when I need her...

Why? I really don't know... It's just an intuition, an intuition that appears when I enquire my sincere heart, an intuition that tells me to always uphold it, an intuition that tells me I will never regret. We may be far apart, but if you need me, just turn around and I will be there for you, at a distance that is so close beside your heart. Just like a kite, no matter how far it flies, no matter how turbulent the wind is, the kite could still fly properly, for there's a string that connects it. Yes, this is the string -- the string of love and trust -- that we must uphold and maintain. I may not be someone who is romantic with many precious presents, nor someone who could talk about sweet things to you... Indeed, I have nothing... I am just someone who would only give you a very simple but sincere love, a loyal heart that you can always trust on, someone who would give you the space you need to do the things you like, but when you need me, I shall be there to support you...

We are just like rotating in a circle, back to back... If we have not turned around, we would not have realized that we are just beside each other -- so near, yet so far; so far, yet so near... After all these years, after all these happenings, we still arrive at the same point, the same point where we should have started... But yes, if we did not rotate in the circle, if those events did not occur, we would not have arrived at this stage, I would not have realized how important you are to me, I would not have the courage to take this further step... They are just like omens to me, omens that serve certain purpose, that teach me certain lessons... We have been pressing our feelings down for such a long time, and I am sorry if I have let you down in the past, but I promise you, I will treasure this relationship till the very last drop of my strength...

Even in the future, if there are times when we might have quarrels, when we might be disappointed with the other, please -- this is my sincere request -- please bear with me... Bear with me to face all these challenges, bear with me that we still have faith in each other, bear with me to walk along the journey of our lives, side by side...

Written for a pretty girl with the prettiest heart that I have ever met -- 610