Tuesday, June 12, 2007

To My... (#2)

To my dad:

Dad, you have always been someone whom I looked up to since I was just a kid, someone who has given me the greatest influence in my life. As a kid, I have never doubted what you have said, what you have done, for you were so confident and matured in your saying, just like a hero to me. I grew up. I gradually noticed and experienced new things. Till a point of time when I suddenly realized that we are just normal humans, and we could have different opinions. At that time, I was afraid, I was worried, for it was just like giving up a crouch that I held so tightly in my life, to walk on my own, although I still felt that I need your care, your guidance. I was lost, lost in a mist to try to distinguish the truths and the lies, the good and the bad, by my own. We started to discuss -- yes, I used this term "discuss", although sometimes you may think that I like to argue about your statements, but please believe me, dad, we were just "discussing". I was just trying to learn about your perspective. Indeed, your statements would normally receive a very high ranking in my mind. But forgive me, dad, I still need to form my own perspective, a perspective that could be justified by my own findings and believes, for you also hope that I can stand on my own. Of course, it is a perspective which could be influenced by yours, and sometimes, greatly...

I miss you, dad. Everything just seems like yesterday. I am glad that I did return home the other day. My mind can still draw the vivid smile on your face while you hugged Zhezhe, after he gained the courage to cruise his first steps towards your arms on his own. Yes, dad, Zhezhe can walk on his own now. I also need this courage, to walk on my own. Dad, I am half way through now, and I assure you I will make it...

I know why you decided to take up that therapy. Don't worry, dad, I have found a good girl, a girl whom I can really love, whom I can really trust on. Although you could not attend the event later, I know for sure, your spirit will always be with us, for it is living inside our hearts, always...

Sis has informed me about the last words you said. Yes, dad, I will always uphold it... You may sometimes think that you did not make good investments. But let me assure you, dad, you have made an excellent decision. It is not a property, nor a share in the stock, for it is alive, it is a living investment. And I promise you, dad, I will be this living investment, I will live this investment, I will...

Written in memory of a person, who made me the person I am now...

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